Best fucking friends, it says.
I really wish I had a best friend so we could wear these.

Today I did a little bit of Christmas shopping! I bought my brother a gift and I bought tiny Madison something, too! I really love it! It's an organic veggie crate, a non-toxic and environmentally friendly toy! I still need my parents and Becca and my love. Christmas shopping is so fun! Have you started yet? What are you getting your mums? I always get mine make-up but I want to do something different this year. Any ideas?

Today I woke up with a terrible terrible headache, so bad that I could barely walk for if I did my head would just start to pound more. So, I stayed in bed for a long time with Midori (my Macbook). When it finally went away I got up and started to wash my clothes. Practically everything was dirty! I love washing clothes and the way the laundry room smells when I do, like fresh cotton. And I like getting the clothes out of the dryer when it's super warm and hanging everything up and then my closet smells like fresh cotton. It's such a simple pleasure. It reminds me of Murakami. The men in his stories always enjoy cooking and housework. And classical music. Then I cleaned my room and took a hot shower and waited for Isaac to come.

I'm sad. My grandma was supposed to be here already but she got really sick and now she might not even come at all, not even for Thanksgiving! It's hardly Thanksgiving without her here! I was so looking forward to spending time with her and baking. I really hope she gets better so she can come. Otherwise, the rest of this week will just be awfully sad.

Japanese craft books I would like to own.

Monogrammed loveliness from Anthropologie! I've fallen in love with all these things. I want! All in M for Mari. Now I know what to put in my wishlist for Christmas! Gosh, they're all so beautiful. Pocket mirrors & bracelets & cups!

I'm sitting here in my room really wishing that Isaac could have slept over. It's such a cold night. We could have kept each other warm and fallen asleep. We could have woken up to a cold morning and sunlight streaming through the blinds. We could have gotten dressed, pulled on our jeans over our thermal underthings, put on our sweaters and cardigans and coats and warm things, and stepped out in the chilly morning to drive somewhere to have breakfast. We could have spent the afternoon together before I had to go to work at four. It would have been perfect. But he can't. And he won't be able to because of his parents, because they think it's wrong and don't even know how much we are in love. And that makes me sad. I wish they knew me and approved. Usually I try not to let this bother me but tonight I remembered and I couldn't keep it from making me sad. I pushed him away and I'm sorry I did that but I couldn't pretend to be happy, not tonight. I couldn't be satisfied that he was there with me, at that moment. I couldn't walk him to the door and give him kisses and hugs good-bye. All I could think about were the lovely times we could be having if he were allowed to stay over sometimes. Staying up late and laughing and loving and waking up to each other.

I will try to change the subject and write about something else. Like how I am loving the cold weather. Like how my grandparents are coming tomorrow for Thanksgiving. They will be here for a week and I'm sure there will be lots of baking. Like how amazing Unwed Sailor was, how amazing it was to see them play Copper Islands, my favorite song. Like how I've been devouring lots of books. This month alone I've read ten books. And at the moment I'm in the midst of three more. Like how I will be seeing Chelsea Main in a couple of days, meeting for coffee and talking about our lives. It's been so long since I've seen here. Like how Geraldi will be coming down sometime this week. It's been months since I've seen her, too. And, of course, all the amazing moments and time I spend with Isaac. All the kissing and love making and whispers. These things make me smile. I should remember that.

photo by hibisanpo

Your love is different from mine. What I mean is, when you close your eyes, for that moment, the center of the universe comes to reside withing you. And you become a small figure within that vastness, which spreads without limit behind you, and continues to expand at tremendous speed, to engulf all of my past, even before I was born, and every word I've ever written, and each view I've seen, and all the constellations, and the darkness of outer space that surrounds the small blue ball that is earth. Then, when you open your eyes, all that disappears. I anticipate the next time you are troubled and must close your eyes. The way we think may be completely different, but you and I are an ancient, archetypal couple, the original man and woman. We are the model for Adam and Eve. For all couples in love, there comes a moment when a man gazes at a woman with the very same kind of realization. It is an infinite helix, the dance of two souls resonating, like the twist of DNA, like the vast universe. Oddly, at that moment, she looked over and smiled. As if in response to what I'd been thinking, she said, "That was beautiful. I'll never forget it."

- A favorite excerpt from Lizard by Banana Yoshimoto

Some of my favorite Japanese books that I bought whilst in San Francisco. Oh, I wish I had more! They're so amazing! I keep meaning to scan some pages in but I never got around to it. Hopefully I can do this soon and will post them at my LJ. It'll be a treat!

Sometimes I like to watch anime if it is cute and/or girly. In the past, I've loved Honey & Clover, Chobits, and Miname-Ke! My new favorite is 魔法遣いに大切なこと ～夏のソラ～ or Things That Are Important to a Mage! Suzuki Sora is a cheerful country girl from the small town of Bie. She made a promise to her father, and following this promise applies and is accepted for a magic intership in Tokyo, where she will face the life in a big city. While training to get better with her magic, she meets a mysterious boy also practicing to become a mage. While he can not use magic that well and he seems distant and cold at first, Sora's fate intertwines with his and the two are thrown together, learning a lot of new things about life and each other. It's really wonderful!

Unwed sailor tonight!
It's going to be amazing.

Dear friends,
My internet connection has been driving me so crazy. Pages and photos aren't loading and I have to keep refreshing the page at least five times before they start to work. It gives me such a headache and makes me not want to be on the internet. Hopefully this will go away soon.

This week has passed by so fast. I've just been reading, listening to music, and spending time with Isaac. The other day we went shopping! A friend of mine who works at Banana Republic gave us a Friends & Family discount card to use at Old Navy, Gap, and Banana Republic. Sadly, Isaac couldn't find anything he liked at those stores but he did buy some really amazing shoes at Aldo. And I bought some pretty lingerie from Gap, a dress from Old Navy, and a lovely silk turquoise blouse from Banana Republic. It was the first time I went shopping in quite a long time. Usually I just spend my money on books and food. Pictures later, perhaps!

Speaking of, my sleepy-head boy is still sleeping at four o'clock in the afternoon and I wish he'd wake up soon because I miss him so.

Yay for the new Midori Hirano album! Today I tried potato printing but it was quite unsuccessful. The easy part is cutting around the outline of the design but the hard part is cutting the potato evenly! Every time I tried cutting it, it was never even enough thus when I stamped parts of it didn't print correctly. Sigh. Lotta Jansdotter, this is not as simple as you make it seem! I think it may just be easier to buy linoleum blocks instead. After that, I worked on my painting for a bit and then I was going to make table napkins with that linen cloth I have but my back started aching because of my terrible posture. So, I read my new book for awhile in bed. It is called The Everlasting Story of Nory and I'm enjoying it. I have pasta and a baguette for dinner.

I smile when I think back to the time when this photo was taken.

I started an mp3 blog:
http://ambiences.blogspot.com/

I've got ideas in my head of paintings I'd like to do. Painting scares me to death! I've never tried it before but I need to start working on other things to put in my portfolio besides photography. I've also got ideas on illustrations and designs I'd like to print on some vintage linen cotton blend fabric I bought at a thrift store. I'm working on a painting right now of a sort of whimsical raindrop boy. I need to stop by an art supply store tomorrow to choose a color palette and buy some new paints. After it's finished, I'm going to try potato printing to print some designs on top of it. My other idea for a painting is still in the works so I'll keep it secret until I start on that but the idea is pretty cute. It'll consist of various sizes of canvases that'll go together.

I'm also very very excited that Unwed Sailor is going to play here again. I saw them in June and it was a dream come true and so so amazing. I'm really happy that I'll get to see them again. I'm looking forward to November 18th very much.

I wish I had a jewelry box full of these beautiful things.

The new record by Sawako and Daisuke Miyatani is wonderful, full of organic sounds, gentle guitars, and field recordings. I really really love it! Perfect music to listen to while making art which is just what I did today. I'm starting to work on some illustrations.

I need lingerie like this in my life.

Amazing, wonderful, delicious new cookbook I came across at the book-store.
I can't wait to bake something from it!

photo by lullatone

That photo makes me smile alot! Looking at cute pictures always brightens up my day. Today I have to go in to work at four and I'm dreading it but only a little. I like spending time in the book-store even if I'm working. It only makes me sad that I won't see Isaac today. Earlier I stopped by the book-store to get Godiva hot chocolate and the new issues of Domino and Bon Appetit. It's the Thanksgiving issue of Bon Appetit which means pictures of delicious food and recipes! My grandparents always cook our Thanksgiving meal and while it's yummy, I've always wanted to make my own. A tiny meal for me. I have yet to do that though but perhaps this year. I have a few more hours until I have to go to work and I plan on laying in bed sipping the remainder of my hot chocolate and reading my new magazines. Perhaps a cigarette or two....or three...or four! I'm kidding, Isaac! I'm trying to not smoke so very much! And a little later, eating the pear and apple harvest bar I bought as well.

Yesterday I had a bit of a crying spell. I know why I was crying but I don't know why it happened so unexpectedly. There are so many things on my mind lately. I feel like I've been bottling it up. I don't like feeling this way. It brings me down and it's hard to get out of once it starts. I just have to keep reminding myself about the good things but even that is difficult when you're in a sorrowful state of mind.

Isaac and I were driving someplace yesterday night and saw a carnival close by my house. I want to go! I don't like rides at all...especially scary ones but I like carnival food like cotton candy & hotdogs & funnel cakes and I do like the merry-go-round and ferris wheel. And also, I finally lost my baby tooth! For some strange reason, it never fell out! And once my adult teeth started setting in, it was just pushed outward and had been quite bothersome for years but I never got it taken out. It's been loose for a long long time and it finally fell out yesterday after two days of me pushing it around. Perhaps that is why I'm so childish, I've had a baby tooth my whole life, twenty-one years!

I've been getting so many good books lately thanks to Bookmooch which was recommended to me by a friend from Livejournal. It's a wonderful site! I, myself, have twelve books to send out but I've been so low on money that I haven't been able to mail them. And I have a package to send to Meisha and a package to send to Brenna in Japan, but for the same reason, I haven't been able to mail those out either. It makes me sad. I applied for a part-time job at a library and I hope so much that I get hired because it's more pay and 30 hours a week working during the day which is perfect. Wish me luck!